Hearts and Stars and Rainbows...

Tonight was a special night. Not for any particular reason, but it just was.

Arlo has a runny nose. Anyone who has a baby, knows how heartbreaking it is when your little one doesn't feel good. He still laughs and plays until mama says no more. We had dinner and bath time and then I rubbed oils to help him breath on his chest and back. He sat there calm and looked at me with this giant blue eyes (if you know Arlo, he does NOT sit still, and those blue eyes will melt a million hearts one day.) I then nursed him and he fell asleep breathing hard. I normally put him down and he normally isn't sleeping tonight, but tonight I held him and watched him sleep softly to sleep. I fell in love all over again. He will have my heart forever.

I then went on my nightly jog. I was running around and I felt like the world was happening around me and I was just watching from the outside. Even though I was running, it felt like I was standing perfectly still. I watched people eating dinner with their families, people walking their dogs, people sitting outside laughing, and then there was me. I ran to the bay and there it was before me, the moon. It was lighting up the entire bay and I went to take a picture, but had no camera. I honestly wanted to run back to get my camera, but instead I figured it was a secret the universe was sharing with me. Honestly, it is what I needed to stop feeling the way I have been feeling.

I then went back to running and listening to party in the USA, with a huge smile on my face. I felt at peace and thought about all the people who I have in my life that have helped me get to where I am today. How hard I work to love my life and enjoy every second of every day. So thank you to all those certain people who listen to me vent and remind me I am doing alright.
A perfect picture of my heart.

I'm blessed it so many ways.

**for those who want to know what I put on arlo to help sooth him: I used a mixture of coconut oil, lavender, petroleum jelly, eucalyptus oil, and rosemary extract.

blabbling

I was sick last week, and therefore out of order.

My weekends are always packed and they are full of Arlo time. It was a beautiful weekend. We played outside and went to a bbq with extended family. Arlo played with his girlfriend, and I held Arlo's new bestfriend.

I love my weekends and when they come around, I feel okay about working all week. The past few months I have felt really good about being a working mom. I think I am doing an alright job balancing the two, but come Monday's, I always feel like my heart is heavy saying goodbye. I have a full weekend of smiles and laughter and it's so hard to leave those blue eyes.



Arlo is walking all over the place and he thinks he is a comedian all of a sudden. He will hide behind his blanket until I notice him, then laugh and smile. He also tries to make me laugh when I'm nursing him. He is such a ham and he is my little ham. I can't believe how much he is becoming his own person. He is so sweet and loving and full of such personality.

So how do you leave that????

I have to say it has been a lot better. Work and being a mom have settled into their own times and so far it's all working out. Sometimes I feel I have the best of both worlds.


And in good news, he hasn't pulled any kids hair lately!

*I haven't uploaded pics in awhile, so I will have some new ones to share soon.

BRB

I promise to be back soon.

xo
A

11 months, you scare me.

Today Arlo turned 11 months. It scares me how fast this year has gone. Since it was such a nice day, we took a picnic up to signal hill. It was breathtaking.

Here is a little photolog for you all:










I love you yesterday, today, and tomorrow too. Please stay my baby forever.

Breastfeeding vs Formula

This post is for a friend who made me think.

To breastfeed or not? That is the question. This is a question that haunts many new mothers. We are told that breastfeeding is best, and made to feel bad if we have to use formula.

I knew from the moment I found out I was pregnant I was going to breastfeed and that it was something I was very dedicated to. I am so dedicated that I pump while driving, while working, and I travel with my son when I have to travel more then one night. We are going on 11 months and still going strong. I worked very hard to continue to breastfeed and be a working mom. I had trouble at first, as many of us do. I had a lactation specialist come out, Cynthia Epps. She helped me in every way. She helped me transition back to work. She is my saint, I am so grateful for her. I love the connection and bond Arlo and I have created, as a breastfeeding team. It does take two! But that is our story and it is what works for us.

I love breastfeeding and it has helped me feel okay about working. It is the one thing I can do that no nanny can. It is our "thing." I have worked very hard to continue breastfeeding and I am the first one to tell you it doesn't come natural. I felt like a failure, when I had trouble. I needed someone to show me and write it out telling me what to do and how to do it. I thank my mother and my boyfriend for being so supportive and spending nights and days with me trying to make it work. It eventually became the most natural thing I have ever done. The one thing that just feels right and reminds me daily how powerful women really are. I could go on for days about how much I love it, and how sad I will be when he finally tells me he's done. I know it is coming, but we will leave that for another day.

Yes, I am a huge advocate for breastfeeding. Anyone who knows me knows this. With that being said, I still support people who have to use formula. People who feel that it isn't right for them, people who have a short supply, or just can't get the hang of it. Why is it so looked down upon these days? At the end of the day, we all want our children happy and healthy. That is the focus and whatever you have to do to get there is fine by me.


***UPDATE:Kristie Ostoja would like an honorable mention, due to her contribution to helping me transfer milk in bags, while we are driving. xo

I'm Only Sleeping

"When I wake up early in the morning,
Lift my head, I'm still yawning
When I'm in the middle of a dream
Stay in bed, float up stream

Please don't wake me, no
don't shake me
Leave me where I am
I'm only sleeping "



So as many of you know, my beautiful, happy, loving baby boy, has one flaw. GASP!!! His only flaw, up until this point was his sleeping habits. The kid would wake up 2-3 times a night to nurse and he refused to sleep in his crib past 11 pm. Therefore, I have been co-sleeping and nursing all night long for 10 months.

I was finally done. I was tired and I knew neither of us were sleeping good. I posted previously we were waiting for his tooth to come through before we started the CIO method. Well, the tooth came and so did my weekend and I just couldn't started the sleep training. I wanted to wake up on Saturday to my baby boy looking at me, smiling, begging me to wake up. I still knew that it was time, but I kept feeling like he would just do it when he was ready. I truly felt the time was coming and he would just one night do it, or maybe that is what I have been praying for the last 10 months.

Last Monday, was the first night he slept all night and he woke up at 7. Then he did it the next night, and the next. He wakes up and cries for about 60 secs then goes back to sleep about once a night, but alas he is sleeping and I am sleeping and I am happy. My baby was ready to sleep and I am all for it.

"Cos you're my baby, 'cos you're my love"

Saturday was our first mommy and me music/dance class. He was in heaven. He loves seeing other kids, and it was his first real interaction with kids his age. We sang, danced, played with instruments, and danced some more. I also discovered I have that child. Yes, Arlo is a hair puller! I had to watch him every second. He must be curious, because he doesn't have any hair yet. Who knows, but my son is a hair puller and I think it's kind of funny.





I also got to have some adult time, with Dexter. He came for a little visit and we had the best food ever, Anjin in Costa Mesa. It is a Japanese bbq place and it was AMAZING. Then in honor of him being home we stopped at native foods for our favorite peanut butter parfait. I was in food heaven. I wish Dexter would move back, but his heart is officially in NY. I get it. I'll deal with it.
See you in April Dex! Maybe Arlo won't be so weirded out by you next time!


Side note: pumpkin pancake mix from Trader Joe's is to die for. We also made salmon with rosemary and capers, Arlo loved it. It's just another reminder that he is growing up.